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# surprising myself
- URL: https://www.thisismia.org/surprising-myself/
- Published: 2026-09-19T22:10:37.000Z
- Updated: 2026-09-19T22:10:37.000Z
- Author: Mia Chaput

I always surprise myself in what would be a place or activity where i shouldn't be surprised.

This example would be an industry networking event. I always get nervous and uncomfortable feeling like I won't belong, and then by the end of it I've made a couple of acquaintances and even had a few laughs.

I am not sure where this social anxiety comes from since it doesn't seem to exist once I'm at the actual event. 

This happens a lot in my life - I doubt myself before entering a space that comes so naturally to me. I believe people in my life would be confused at me feeling apprehensive or even skeptical before entering a social environment. It doesn't seem like those apprehensions would be something that happens to someone like me. And then it makes me want to ask myself if that's who I really am, or am I just performing like I assume so many others are?  
  
The answer is no, I'm not performing. What *is* happening is that I'm overthinking how I'm being perceived out of a desire to be liked and well received by my peers. That's something I've been consciously aware of since I was a child and quite frankly has become exhausting to live with. And more exhausting is the awareness and vascillating between caring about the perception and not caring. And while others experience this, I think it's the extremeness that I intend to point out in this post. It's the self critical thoughts consuming all the space in my mind when I'm trying to remember if I thoughtfully responded to what someone said while also trying to be sure I'm not getting hors d'overs sauce on my face. 

And I know I'm not the only one. In fact, I believe there are few who don't know what I've just described. In fact, when calling it out at the event itself, people almost seemed relieved and dropped their guard a little bit. I asked one small group how they decompress after events like this. They readily replied, "sleep," to which everyone else kindly agreed. So then I conclude to myself that everyone is suffering from the same anxieties in the room and we're all just playing along. 

Now, are there people who are naturally great in networking environments? Yes, absolutely. Overall though, I think most are exhausted by the end of them and ready to 'check out.' 

So this post is to acknowledge these life moments regardless of why they're taking place. And if you had to 'get through' an event like that today, cheers, i'm proud of you.